moko wants candy

Candy in London. Candy in Tokyo. Candy in Paris. Candy in Fribourg. Candy in Madrid. Candy in Marrakesh. Candy in The O.C...

Sunday, December 06, 2009

5 Things


My dad, a doctormologist, was telling me tonight that back in med school the classic drinking game they'd all play was, 'What 5 medicines would you bring to a desert island?"

Sounds wild.

In any case, it got me thinking about what kind of sweets I would bring...

1. Cookie dough batter

2. Cheap, American supermarket icing (that would double as insect bait so that I could also get my protein)

3. Cotton Candy (which I could also use as a cocoon to keep warm at night)

4. Chocolate caramel fudge sundae (hey, if I can transport an infinite number of sundaes I can certainly figure out how to keep the sun from melting them)

5. Haribo strawberries (also to track my trails and not get lost)

Your turn! What would you bring?

...btw, in case you're interested in the top medicines, they apparently are an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory, and a pain pill...considering that pretty much any doctor should be able to figure that out I'm not quite sure where the drinking game part came in!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Lessons from Thanksgiving

Hello Moko-ites,

I had all my Irish family over for Thanksgiving this weekend, and in making my first-ever Thanksgiving meal I learned a whole bunch of things I'm passing on to the troops in the hopes that it can be of use for Xmas:

1. Turkey is negotiable. I always assumed everyone loved turkey. But when I suggested we have a Moko-friendly Thanksgiving by skipping it this year I was surprised by the number of people who came out of the woodwork to confess how much they dislike the "dry," "gamey," bird, which "makes you fall asleep before you even get to the end of the meal." (Separate note: wouldn't it be great if Zagat would extend their empire beyond restaurant reviews? I'd love to read their company or government guides....'Wacky living' meets 'oppressive regime' in Turkmenistan, where the king 'names the month and breakfast cereals after himself'.' Some say it's 'stifling to the point you want to kill yourself', but most 'love the food and all-night laundromats.')

2. Cranberries are the easiest things to make in the world. Seriously: cranberries, sugar, boil them in water. Done. I threw in some orange peel just to make it seem like these had taken me longer.

3. Carnivores can be fooled. My vegan nut roast was the hit of the evening, and on first taste many people thought it had the touch of bloody flesh. Triumph!

4. Making your own pie crust is super simple and tastes way better. Here we go: 1 cup flour, half stick of butter, kneed kneed kneed till it's crumbling, then mix in the egg, fridge for 20 minutes, roll out, then bake for 35 minutes.

5. Could candy duplicate the flavor of buttery mashed potatoes. Maybe a Jelly Belly flavor?

6. Candles make all meals look more presentable.

7. Boo to whipping cream (meaning, cream you buy on the Old Continent that is called whipping cream, but it really is cream-to-be-whipped and not wonderfully sugary Cool Whip)....is not worth anyone's time.

8. Double the spice in your pumpkin pie recipe. Whatever recipe it may be, doubling the spice makes it that much better. That's a tricky I learned from my mumsy.

9. If you're the one cooking, only invite your side of the family to your house. That way, your spouse/partner will inevitably get bored at some point and will voluntarily take to the kitchen to do the dishes for you.

10. Skip the veggies. They just take up more time, no one really eats that many...Thanksgiving is about heartiness, not vegetables!

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Moko Breaks her Silence


From the mess halls of East Coast prep schools to the peaks of Kilamanjaro; from the intersection at Shibuya station, the temples of Tibet, and the set of Gossip Girl...the big question on everyone's lips for the past three months has been, "where is Moko?"

It's true: I vanished without a trace in August, leaving you all with a Miette candy posting and no warning that I would be leaving you sugarless for the fall. The truth is, I was travelling a lot for work in August and September, and then went off and got myself hitched, so inbetween it all I found it difficult to post...not to mention that I was still officially practicing sugar sobriety, so I didn't have as much "raw material" to work with.

But if there's anything that married life has taught me, it's that old habits die hard. I'll never get him to put the toilet seat down, and he'll never to manage to break me free of sugar's grasp. (A more realistic goal would simply be to try to get our relationship to the point where, if both of us were on a sinking ship with a life-sized bag of sugar and only two lifejackets, it would not take me too long to make the right decision.)

So here I am...rock you like a hurricane.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Moko is back!!!!


...and this is what she's just made---christmas cupcakes...in November!!

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Sunday, August 02, 2009

miette candy tasting


The worst thing about planning a wedding is, well, the planning part. But whenever there's a worst thing there has to be a best thing, and that's clearly the fun stuff along the way that you weren't even expecting. Two great examples:

1. The man at the corner store gave me a free pack of Orbit gum tonight when he saw my engagement ring--and he gave me 20p off on the second pack I purchased. What a bargain!

2. The Baron--paragon of good taste, and one of the early inspirations for this blog--threw me a wonderful candy tasting/ bachelorette party at a pretty candy shop in San Francisco called Miette.

Now when The Baron first mentioned her idea to me, I have to admit I had a little laugh inside the mean part of my brain. How could the Moko possibly have anything more to learn about candy? It ain't wine, after all: in my book there's basically sweet, sweeter, and sweetest, with subcategories of sour, liquid, fluff, and stale.

Nevertheless, I thought it was an excellent excuse to break my candy fast and spend the day in Miette, the decor of which, in floor-to-ceiling technicolor gumballs, is like complete Mokoporn.

We started out with grapefruit "infused" cotton candy. I would have been content to eat just that the whole day.

Then came the sugary candies (below). This was heavy on dainty French cuteness (yes, those are Carambars you see on the far right), and all quite tasty--particularly the lone Italian sugar fondant, which is my new favorite thing ever. My only wish was that they could have added in some sugary Haribo numbers, letting the German octane offset the flirty pouts of the French flowers....I swear it's like candy that will try to steal your boyfriend.
Next came the caramels, which I have not included a picture of here because I feel that caramels are a bit like brownies in their wholesome boringness. (Well, that and the fact that I've left that photo on my camera and it's in another room...) That said, the Miette ones rated really highly in our group, as did the chocolates, which included tasty London-based Rococo, reliable Gianduja, and a challenging, crusty number that made me feel like I had been asked to appreciate contemporary art.

Finally, the Miette ladies broke out loads of salty licorice. These things tested even the bravest of my friends. I warned everyone off the Nordic ones--since it's a proven fact that they lead to suicide--but I was surprised to discover that the chocolate licorice (bottom right hand) was actually quite addictive.

A big thanks to The Baron for organizing the most perfect day for the Moko!

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

On globalization, architecture, and chocolate

Greetings from Prague, Mokoites!

I actually meant to post something last week, but I was in Milan and utterly uninspired...who would've thunk that Italy could make an ugly city? Duomo aside, the highlight of my trip was a motorcycle tour of fascist architecture in public transport structures. And that was as interesting for about as long as it took me to write that sentence.

But Prague, oh Prague! Prague is all things to all people. The romantics among us love it for its historic cobblestone and charming buildings; the English for its reputation as a cheap place to get drunk; and for Moko as the home of many heavy pastries that remind her of the Prussian Empire.

...but that actually wasn't the point of this post.

The point, of course, was that I've now been able to find Thomas-themed Pocky in three countries - UK, Japan, and Czech Republic.


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Saturday, July 11, 2009

More proof that sugar is bad for you




According to this BBC story, a New Jersey chocolate factory worker died after falling into a vat of chocolate. I always thought this could be an ok way to go, but I think the chocolate was so hot in this case that it would just have been painful.

But given my tasteless title and picture for this post, I can at least now prove to the mysterious Purple People Eater that I'm just as dismissive of human life as animal life when it comes to death by chocolate!

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Moko gets swindled


About a decade ago, I spent a summer volunteering in Morocco. In addition to memorizing all the guide book tips, I had learned from my Moroccan co-volunteers the dos and don'ts of being street smart in the big cities, where foreign tourists were less numerous than they are today.

So at the end of her volunteering stint, savvy little miss Moko took herself to Casablanca, as she wanted to see the famed city, as well as explore the possibility of doing a PhD at the university (at which point, any listener of my story usually interrupts me and asks, "Oh, did you speak Arabic?"...at which point I blush and then wave aside their question as if irrelevant).

Anyway, on my first day in Casablanca, I was relaxing in the shade of an olive tree when a man approached me to ask the time. He then proceeded to tell me he was a professor at the university. We kicked off a conversation during which I impressed him with my (not so) extraordinary knowledge of Maghreb literature, and eventually he invited me and my then-boyfriend to dinner with him and his wife later in the evening. Of course! This is what the guide books said might happen--"Moroccan hospitality is well known"--and so we accepted, and then set out to buy something to take to his house as a housewarming gift.

Now I was in Morocco only shortly after finishing college, and I had very little money to my name. (In fact, so little, that I got mad when my then-boyfriend spent the equivalent of 25 cents on an ice cream in Casablanca. Sorry Mr. Ex...though only kinda.) But I really wanted to make a good impression on the professor, so I went into the most luxurious bakery in all of Casablanca and bought up a whole array of sweets, including the ones in the photo of tasty fig and marzipan numbers.

Later that day, we met the "professor" in a very chic suburb of Casablanca. After 15 minutes of my babble about literature, he suddenly asked us whether we would want wine with our dinner. "As a Muslim, I cannot drink it, but I can purchase some in a secret bar up the road if you give me some money."

The distinction between buying and consuming struck me a bit like a religious friend I had in high school who refused to have sex but had no issues with giving oral pleasures--but hey, I wasn't going to question it. After all, the thought of having wine in Morocco seemed thrilling given how taboo it was (again, this seems to have changed quite a bit over the past decade), so I said yes, and promptly handed over the equivalent of ten dollars---a total fortune for me then, and no doubt a bit irksome to that ex-boyfriend who was still smarting from his 50-cent purchase.

The man stood up and as he made to leave, he stopped and eyed my box full of pastries. "I will take this to my wife on the way," he said smiling.

...And, well, you already know how this story ends. The man never returned, we never got our wine, and I never got to try the marzipan figs until I returned to Morocco earlier this year.

Oh, and my boyfriend and I broke up.

I still regret the part about the figs though.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Macha McVities


McVitie's are one of England's few great contributions to modern society (other contenders: porridge, builders tea, and sunlight until 9pm in the summers). For those of you who haven't had them, they're like fake cookies that are great to dunk in tea or hot chocolate, or even to pair with sharp cheese just for a zingy taste pow sensation.

That said, I've always thought it was a bit disingenuous the way McVitie's would call themselves "digestive biscuits" as if they were somehow healthy. Let's call a spade a spade here: these things are really only connected to digestion in that your stomach needs to digest them.

Now McVitie's has found a new gimmick: Matcha McVities---kinda like standard McVities meets Oreos meets matcha. And matcha--as McDonalds and Starbucks and 1 million years of Eastern medicine would have us believe--is a magical, magical thing.

Well guess what? They're really, really tasty. (And totally not healthy.)

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Sunday, June 14, 2009

My soulmate


Today I looked in the mirror and saw that I'm actually not a ghostly pale blonde girl: I am Lamar Odom.

Take a look at this post, sent to me by the Quiet Quieter. Lamar and I walk alike, we talk alike, we certainly eat alike, and we get distracted alike due to our sweet tooth.

All that's left is for me to grow a foot taller and take up basketball.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

More fun with wafers

Under my new sugar ban I'm not actually allowed to eat any of these things I get but just ogle them (and ok maybe take an occasional taste in the name of science). So I had to keep adding things to the blueberry wafer treat from the other day to get it to a point of complete inediblity where it didn't matter how big my craving was.

So I decided to glue on my little people friends...because glue is not tasty (unless it's sugar glue like the kind you use in elementary school).

So here you have my New York City block. The person in the middle on the right-hand side is actually an angry mother. She's (clearly) climbing up the scaffolding to get up to the roof so that she can drag down her pot-smoking teenager.

p.s. I'm sure this sugar ban stuff will end soon. I'm as bored with it as you are ;-)

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Tuesday, June 02, 2009

What! Is! This!?!

I had imagined this would be a ccrispy wafer full of oozing blue soda-y goodness. Alas, there was no ooze or soda, but points to them for making a sucker out of me!

But that reminds me, does anyone know of any good blueberry candy? Why is it such an un(der)appreciated fruit? Texture-wise, they pop in your mouth and go all gushy. And if you get those great GMO ones you can get them as big as your fist. No joke.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Modern art made from...what?

Any guesses as to what candy I've used to create this Edward Hopper-esque portrain of alienation in a furniture store?


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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The chocolate ceiling??

As if it wasn't enough that we make less money then men and can't pee standing up, now there's a special chocolate for the bearers of a Y chromosome:

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Tragedy of Chocomomo (a.k.a. What Moko does w/ her candy when she can't eat it)

There once was a chocolate lollipop named Chocomomo. He was the only chocolate lollipop in the whole world, and was born in the only chocolate forest left on our planet.

He grew up surrounded by thousands of chocolate trees and mushrooms, but he was never invited to their parties or games. He dreamed of being popular...

but he was simply too different for the forest creatures to accept him as one of them. Everyone avoided him and...

...behind his smile was great sadness. So he tried to change himself. So he cut his hair in forest fashion...

...and tried his very best to blend in with the flora and fauna.


He lost weight:

Got contacts:

But it was all to no avail. The chocolate creatures didn't want to have anything to do with him. Chocomomo cried rivers of chocolate tears.

He gave up on the forest and tried to befriend the hippies who sometimes beat their drums near his home.

They were nice and mellow, but one day one the hippies actually mistook Chocomomo for his bong and nearly lit the poor little chocopop on fire.

It was with great sadness that Chocomomo took a long look in the mirror and realized he could not change himself. He was Chocomomo, and Chocomomo he would be.


So he left the forest and searched out Chocomomos like himself. He came close many times--like in a packing box outside Philadelphia.

And finally, after many months of searching, found his place amongst a group of furries:


And now, even when he's alone, he feels loved.

The end.

oh how i miss my sugar...

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Thursday, May 07, 2009

Candy-like uncandies

Japan is so great. Even it's uncandies are packaged a bit like candies. Who wouldn't want to try eel crackers or katsu (excuse me, BIGG Katsu) after holding these cute little Pocky stick-type packages in their hands?

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Monday, May 04, 2009

Tracks of my Sugarless Tears

Third week sans sucre:


Baby take a gooood look at my face
You see my smiiiile looks out of place
Just a little closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears

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Friday, May 01, 2009

An Ugly Picture of Rehab

Given my new sobriety I can't eat the wonderful box of sweets Jon sent me. But I also can't bear to throw or give them away as the thought of someone else enjoying my Pocky sticks just makes me cry.

So instead I've decided to play with them until their chocolatey goodness seeps into the various rugs, tables, clothes, etc. that I wrap them in, the idea being that they will surround me in my daily life (at least till I vaccuum).

So here is my chocolate forest of despair:

Doesn't my forest look so sad?

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another box!



Two boxes in the same month!

This one's courtesy of Jon from Japan. I was so excited by all of the convenience store goodies that I unpacked and packed the bag three times! (Yes, that's about all I can do with the box right now given that I've sworn off sugar...but we'll see how long that lasts!)

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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Two weeks sans sucre

It finally happened: I finally had my drug-addict-lands-in-the-gutter moment. The moment where someone held up a mirror next to the playground as I sold heroin to 6-year-old kids. The moment where I sold my house just for one more hit. The moment...where I gave up sugar.

The wake-up call came about three weeks ago. I was in Zurich airport, rushing to the gate to catch my plane. My laptop was under my arm. In my left hand was a big pack of Haribo Starbrites. In my right hand was my new mobile phone.

Suddenly I lost my balance, and the Haribo and phone went flying.

Question: you have .01 seconds to save either your 1 Euro bag of candy or your 80 Euro phone. What do you save?

So the phone went crashing to the ground and split in two, while my Starbrites landed safely in my hand. That was when I realized my priorities were not quite in order and that I needed to cut back on my sugar intake.

Granted, I didn't change overnight. I kept eating sugar like normal (read: raw and by the spoonful) but it no longer tasted the same. It was sour. Lonely. Broken. Like my mobile phone.

It took about a week before I decided to go cold turkey, but it's now been 2 weeks since I've touched anything.

All I can say is that it hasn't been easy. I had the shakes the first three days (seriously), and most of the time I feel like this:





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