Friday, April 21, 2006

Overheard at the Nestle Marketing Department’s Yorkie Bar Pre-Launch Meeting:

“Ok, guys, top brass has decided that it’s time to target the 18-32 male market. A totally untapped market in terms of chocolate. No respectable young man is going to get caught dead eating a Flake bar these days, right? That’s where we come in.

"Boys, meet the Yorkie. Take a look. We’ve got a bar here that’s real chunky chocolate. Lots of emulsifiers. A real hearty bar. This thing ain’t for the girls.

“Now our target male reads FHM and likes breasts. He thinks Hugh Hefner is iconic, but he’d rather be Dave Navarro doing Carmen Electra. He’s a college boy or a young professional man on his way to what will eventually be a very successful career. But he’s still young and doesn’t feel a particular connection to his work. He sometimes wonders if he has sold out—that he’s become The Man. Somedays he looks at his graphs and models and shudders, then stares longingly out his window. Wouldn’t life be more simple if he could work with his hands? What would it be like to be a construction worker?

"This is the Yorkie buyer, boys. Get me a design and ad campaign by tomorrow. This is gonna be huge.”

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BLOOD AMBITION 2006 said...

Other food products NOT for girls(!):
Gummi Any Animal
Scotch Egg
Taco Salad
The Six Dollar Burger (Discounting Paris Hilton
Ranch Dressing

Moko said...

Good call, Blood Ambition. Ranch Dressing is totally a man's condiment. But I'd disagree on the Gummi front. When was the last time you saw a grown man bite the head off a gummy bear and say to his co-worker, "Dude, my gummy bear has no head."

On the otherhand, a woman in her 30s could still totally pull that off. "Look Sheila! I bit off its head! I'm so naughty!"

Anders said...

The Yorkie bar has been marketed as a man's chocolate since I was 1, at least. For those who don't know me, I am 1,540 years old. That's some time. In the pre-FHM world Yorkie was associated with trucks. It was a milk chocolate brick. See the two ads down near the bottom here. Moko should be more interested in how the truck has disappeared. Man has always been a part of Yorkie.

The Kit Kat is neither Man or Woman chocolate. It is Office chocolate.

Moko said...

hmm...anders, an interesting historical note. i will work it into my final analysis.

Moko said...

hmm...anders, a very interesting historical note. this is why i've always believed it's important to listen to our old people--they know many things about things.

i will work it into my final analysis, which i plan to publish later this year.