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- Halloween in England
- The long walk home
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Friday, April 21, 2006
Overheard at the Nestle Marketing Department’s Yorkie Bar Pre-Launch Meeting:
“Ok, guys, top brass has decided that it’s time to target the 18-32 male market. A totally untapped market in terms of chocolate. No respectable young man is going to get caught dead eating a Flake bar these days, right? That’s where we come in.
"Boys, meet the Yorkie. Take a look. We’ve got a bar here that’s real chunky chocolate. Lots of emulsifiers. A real hearty bar. This thing ain’t for the girls.
“Now our target male reads FHM and likes breasts. He thinks Hugh Hefner is iconic, but he’d rather be Dave Navarro doing Carmen Electra. He’s a college boy or a young professional man on his way to what will eventually be a very successful career. But he’s still young and doesn’t feel a particular connection to his work. He sometimes wonders if he has sold out—that he’s become The Man. Somedays he looks at his graphs and models and shudders, then stares longingly out his window. Wouldn’t life be more simple if he could work with his hands? What would it be like to be a construction worker?
"This is the Yorkie buyer, boys. Get me a design and ad campaign by tomorrow. This is gonna be huge.”
Categories: chocolate, Yorkie, men