Thursday, April 27, 2006

What’s the Most Underrated Candy?

Is your favorite candy stuck lingering three shelf spaces left of spotlight? Has a new candy caught your eye but seems to have failed to capture the hearts of the general public? (Does the general public have one heart or several?)

The Moko wants to hear from you.

Distraught that Bottlecaps might vanish, or that traditional LifeSavers are being edged out by CremeSavers? Why is it that Fifth Avenue chocolate bars are increasingly hard to find, and seemingly only available in super super size?

Let it all out. I'm here to listen.

The answer with the most supporting votes will get a bunch of the supremely underrated candy, Kin'pos-- however many I have remaining between the time I buy them and when I reach the post office to mail them to you.

Contest stays open until someone mentions Skittles.

At the risk of influencing their answers, here are my guesses for the types of candy my most vociferous readers will nominate:

The (belligerent) Cromulator – something crappy and tasteless.
The Blood Arm – something phallic and gummy.
Anders – something none of us have heard of.
Bikoko – something French, because he’s a nationalist and hates your imperialist candy. And you.


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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok, it looks like I'm the first one to post. I vote for...

Necco Wafers! I haven't been able to find them since I was 12.

cromulator said...

dip sticks. definitely dip sticks.

beehead said...

how about NERDS?

BLOOD AMBITION 2006 said...

Kate and I once found these delightful "strawberry pillows" at the Japanese market. (Neither of us read Japanese, the name is an approximation.) There are pictures of Hello Kitty and Strawberry Shortcake on the outside of the package. (Honestly, what in Japan isn't endorsed by Hello Kitty? Sony? Toyota?) The candy is basically a marshmallow filled with a strawberry jelly, and the very act of eating it made me feel younger and more adorable.

Also, I miss nerds, so a vote for beehead.

Moko said...

the best part about nerds is that after eating them you can spit in the color you ate. i lazed away many a summer spitting purpe happy faces on my driveway.

as for hello kitty and japan, have you seen the hello kitty strawberry pretzels. disgusting.

Anders said...

Sherbert dip-dab

Moko said...

hmm...true to form, Anders pulled out something obscure.

is this a bit like Lik-a-maid (what Cromulator is calling a dip stick) but just fizzier? If so, sounds very promising.

bingo said...

Andes mints.

Under-rated and obscure are not the same thing, people.

Moko said...

absolutely right, bingo, but you have to realize that Anders is operating under different conditions because he is not from The Empire, but rather the 19th century's favorite Empire...so it's quite possible that that weird sherbet thing isn't so obscure for the english.

having said all that, let's talk about your vote for andes mints. an interesting choice, and one which i imagine many of my untalkative readers might disagree with. but i support your effort wholeheartedly. why do so many people say andes mints are crap? if only all italian restaurants gave andes mintes after dinner!

Anonymous said...

Push Pop!

bingo said...

i know damn well what conditions anders is operating under - and it's time that we stopped letting "being european" be carte blanche for whatever you want...

andes mints are delicious because the mint is minty, the chocolate is passable, they are refreshing, you can bite into them if they are frozen, you can press them in to the roof of your mouth with your tongue if you want to enjoy them as a gooey mess, and they were invented by the Incas!

Moko said...

oh! will anders take that from bingo?

fisticuffs! fisticuffs! fight fight fight!

Anders? said...

I am Anders hear me roar!

bikoko said...

does the end of a very hard saucisson (french salamai sausage) that I'd chew for hours to get the very last pieces and taste of what had been a pork a long time ago ok?

Moko said...

um, let me answer for everyone on that one: no