Thursday, May 11, 2006

On the Wagon…Sort of.

First of all, let’s get this straight: since my visit with the doctor I have drastically cut back on my sugar consumption. (Images of death can have that kind of effect on me.)

Since last week’s visit, I have not purchased a single piece of candy, nor entered the shop of my beloved Chocolate Man. I even gave my candy change (=change meant for future candy purchases) to the homeless guy outside of the supermarket last night. He thought I was being nice—really, though, I was just illustrating my extraordinary self-control.

But I have not been perfect. Part of recovery is admitting I have a problem—a problem I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. With that in mind, I will now publicly announce my transgressions over the past few days:

Sunday: 50 sticks of gum, a liter of tonic water, and lots of sugary peanut butter. Oh, and two candies nicked from the hairdressers who ripped me off.

Monday: An entire jar of lemon curd, which I was pleasantly surprised to discover contains far more syrupy sugar than actual lemons.

Tuesday: Hot chocolate, a half cup of honey, and a full can of Jelly Bellies (which, fyi, I did not buy but were sent to me by my enabling grandparents for my birthday, which you all should know is on Friday)

Wednesday: macaroon Chantilly extravaganza at Harrod's with The Blood Arm’s medical half. I knew I was in safe hands in case I went into sugar seizure.

Wednesday midnight snack (right now): There is no sugar in the house and I'm under surveillance. So I’m eating frozen berries.

I will start complying, or at least semi-complying with the doctor’s orders on Monday. However, between now and then--and for purely social reasons--I must honor whatever birthday cake any of you offer me.

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BLOOD AMBITION 2006 said...

it seems my medical half has had no qualms about sharing her desserts with half of london while i pine away at home...

Moko said...

yes, well, i thought it was best that you know

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday/Feliz Cumpleanos/Bonne Anniversaire, retiring sugar consumer...may you have to eat a blue cake like the one you envisioned with the Chocolate Man...surely THAT would cure what ails you!

Seriously, good luck with your no-sugar-no-more abstinence program...I'll pledge to do my abstinence agenda as well. United we stand in neurosis!

Moko said...

actually, i get TWO cakes this weekend: one all for ME and the other at Anders wedding to la espanola...

BLOOD AMBITION 2006 said...

i thought you just liked birthday cake, i didn't realize it was emblematic of anything... happy birthday!