Monday, May 01, 2006

Onward Ignorance!

Back when I was 20 I tried to go vegan. I was already vegetarian, so it didn’t seem like it would be a big leap. The major things I’d have to cut out of my daily diet were eggs, cheese, and milk—nothing I couldn’t live without.

Everything was going well until Day 13, when my pal, Ben "The Blood Arm" Lee (who was then a vegan, not a rock star MC), casually mentioned that jelly beans, Hot Tamales, and Haribo delights were full of gelatin, which is made from cattle bone, cattle hides and fresh, frozen pigskin. (FYI, it’s not horse hooves, which is what all vegans at California State Monterrey Bay will tell you.)

Suddenly, going vegan seemed a lot more daunting.

So daunting that the following evening I gave up, crowning my failure with a large bag of Haribo, a raw egg, a ¼ bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips and a glass of milk.

Which begs the question: if I didn’t know that I was committing a vegan no-no during my first two weeks of vegan living, could I still say I was vegan for those two weeks? I suppose not. But at least my conscience felt vegan. Vegan and self-righteous, which is a great way to feel when you’re 20 and at a liberal arts college.

I was reminded of this incident just five minutes ago, when I encountered a similar problem in the form of the new Strawberry Shake Flavour Milkybar. Yum yum yum. White chocolate outside, creamy strawberry fizz madness on the inside. Highly recommended.

Highly recommended, that is, until I discovered that the egg is made by Nestle--Lord of Evil and breecher of WHO and Fair Trade codes.

Luckily, I found all of this out after I ate the egg. That means I was simply ignorant rather than an active accomplice to the murder of the innocent.

So now I can't have another egg...unless, that is, someone were to cut one up, remove all traces of Nestle's logo, and throw it in my salad. Not that that's what I'd want, of course.

Categories: , , , , ,


BLOOD AMBITION 2006 said...

Anti-corporate idealism is so 1990s. Now is all about Coca-Cola, Nike, Nestle, and Carrie Underwood. Flavor can be measured in direct relation to how little the child-laborer was paid, how many horses lost their hooves, and how many hours the workers were locked in poorly-lighted and over-heated warehouses.

Eat the egg, hippy! Eat the egg!

Moko said...

I know, I know. I might as well celebrate Earth Day, too, right? Still, photos of merasmus sufferers make me shudder.

That's right. Go do an image search on merasmus. And then feel really, really bad you capitalist pig.

Anders said...

Stanford is a liberal arts college?

Moko said...

i wasn't talking about stanford but rather hollyoaks community college, where i studied 19th c. philosophy. (fyi, it was my A in the class "Nietzche: More Than a Man" that got me into stanford...)