- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- The long walk home
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Monday, May 01, 2006
Back when I was 20 I tried to go vegan. I was already vegetarian, so it didn’t seem like it would be a big leap. The major things I’d have to cut out of my daily diet were eggs, cheese, and milk—nothing I couldn’t live without.
Everything was going well until Day 13, when my pal, Ben "The Blood Arm" Lee (who was then a vegan, not a rock star MC), casually mentioned that jelly beans, Hot Tamales, and Haribo delights were full of gelatin, which is made from cattle bone, cattle hides and fresh, frozen pigskin. (FYI, it’s not horse hooves, which is what all vegans at California State Monterrey Bay will tell you.)
Suddenly, going vegan seemed a lot more daunting.
So daunting that the following evening I gave up, crowning my failure with a large bag of Haribo, a raw egg, a ¼ bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips and a glass of milk.
Which begs the question: if I didn’t know that I was committing a vegan no-no during my first two weeks of vegan living, could I still say I was vegan for those two weeks? I suppose not. But at least my conscience felt vegan. Vegan and self-righteous, which is a great way to feel when you’re 20 and at a liberal arts college.
I was reminded of this incident just five minutes ago, when I encountered a similar problem in the form of the new Strawberry Shake Flavour Milkybar. Yum yum yum. White chocolate outside, creamy strawberry fizz madness on the inside. Highly recommended.
Highly recommended, that is, until I discovered that the egg is made by Nestle--Lord of Evil and breecher of WHO and Fair Trade codes.
Luckily, I found all of this out after I ate the egg. That means I was simply ignorant rather than an active accomplice to the murder of the innocent.
So now I can't have another egg...unless, that is, someone were to cut one up, remove all traces of Nestle's logo, and throw it in my salad. Not that that's what I'd want, of course.
Categories: chocolate, strawberry-fizz, Nestle, evil, vegans, BloodArm