- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- The long walk home
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Thursday, May 04, 2006
UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
When the Chocolate Man and I get married at the end of this month I will have him design this cake for our wedding. You might think that’s mean—asking the Chocolate Man to design the cake for his own wedding, but this guy’s gotta pull his own weight. Afterall, I’m not paying for everything.
And there’s no way his parents are bringing any cash to the table. He's from Trimdon Station, where the Beatles could have been born but, by providential mishap, were not. It’s a place where people work in mines and empty hardware stores and don’t make much money except when the BBC comes to film a documentary about disappearing towns and boosts the local economy when its crew stops at the local diner to have lunch.
In other words, I doubt the Chocolate Man has a trust fund behind him to pay for our big bash.
That boy will be making his own cake. And he’ll be making it according to my specifications. Big and blue with lots and lots of edible pearls.
Categories: chocolate, seduction, nemesis, evil, cake