Monday, May 15, 2006

Wedding Cake

Wedding cake is almost always a disappointment. First, the icing is cheap—not sugary, supermarket cupcake sweet, but rather creamy, fatty cheap. Next, the cake is usually some variation of the yellow or chocolate Betty Crocker cake mix you can make yourself at home—minus the bonus of getting to lick the batter. And then there’s the decoration of the cake itself—boring, boring, boring. No one ever goes in for blue cakes or theme cakes anymore—why?

Of course I will eat any wedding cake I’m served, but each time I lift that fork of colored fat into my mouth I think of all of the wonderful things that could have been. A salmon-pink, multi-tiered number with chocolate cake and strawberry mousse filling. A classic white cake with little chocolate buttons. A massive chocolate fondant that oozes chocolate across the room once it’s sliced open. Or what about an ice cream cake! It may not scream class, but who doesn’t like ice cream? (Incidentally, I have a 14-year-old cousin who is both a convicted arsonist and engaged—an ice cream wedding cake would be the perfect safety-proof, age-appropriate cake, don’t you think?)

This is why I was so pleasantly surprised by the non-cakiness of the wedding cake I had this past weekend in Santiago de Compostela. Anders married his novia in a three billion-year-old church, after which the newlyweds cut their cake with a massive sword that Isabel and Ferdinand had used to conquer Granada in 1492. (Check out the newspaper article about the boda spanglish.)

Although the sword-cut item looked like a classic white cake number, the cake we were served was from an entirely different genus of the cake kingdom, sliding in somewhere between a mille feuille and a pastry puff. I was a little too drunk at that point to really tell you what it tasted like, but I do vaguely remember the taste sensations—cream, sweet and crispy. I’ll let you reconstruct from that. Oh, and don’t forget to add a dollop of vanilla ice cream on the side.

BTW, there is no photo of the cake, so instead you get a photo of Anders and Maria. May they live happily ever after...Roguemos al Senor!

Categories: , , , ,


bikoko said...

maybe the wedding cake are disgusting because the bride doesn't care about their guests.
I hate wedding cake anyway.
I don't like wedding anyway, except if they are 100% champagne wedding.

Moko said...

you can't have a champagne wedding in spain, bikoko. you have to have a cava wedding. and you know why? you french won't let anyone but yourselves have a champagne wedding, damn appellation controlee freaks!

Anonymous said...

that 14 yr old cousin thing's not true, right?

Moko said...

actually, it is.

she lives in west virginia.

Anonymous said...

Now, you know that isn't true about your 14-yr.old cousin...I was 13 when I got engaged and broke it off when I got sent away!
Hi, Cuz!

Moko said...

who are you, imposter?

i know you aren't mary sue because she knows nothing about hyphens! (and i doubt they give you that much web surfing time in juvenile hall anyway)

Anonymous said...

Who am I? an imposter...when I'm 18, I'm goin' to hunt you down...I've been studying an old map of the London Bridge!

Anonymous said...

Just as MY office nemesis my birthday by making it her wedding date, we wanted to convert your birthday into our anniversary. Or at least the two anniversaries coincide as long as we are in Japan and you are somewhere west of it.

Moko said...

ah, well that's an interesting way of looking at it. we will all share a joyous day together!

i don't usually like sharing, though. that usually means less cake for me.

Jesse said...

I think people are beginning to become more adventurous with their wedding cake choices.

My wife decorates wedding cakes for a living and she has done some pretty wild designs. Her most recent was fashioned after the movie The Corpse Bride. You can view it at