Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Kit Kat Gets a Penis

It’s called the Kit Kat Chunky, and it’s the best thing to happen to the Nestle brand since they decided to inject air into the Crunch bar.

The new bar is a fantastic, masculine alternative to the traditional, feminine Kit Kat. And it tastes SO much better. It’s c-h-u-n-k-y and very satisfying.

I received two free bars during the World Cup and offered to split one with my football-watching partners, Jesus and God. (Jesus, if you remember, is “everyone’s favorite energy reporter”. God is simply God by dint of the fact that he’s Jesus’ editor. Beyond moving megawatts, though, I don’t think he’s all that powerful.)

Anyway, never in my fifty years of chocolate eating have I seen such an over-the-top success.

Do you people in other countries have this new Kit-Kat, too? Or is this only in England? If so, this would be the first good reason I’ve ever heard to live in this country.


salvador de mali said...

We've had them in the US for ages. I can get them at the supermarket check-out stand. I can send you one if you need proof positive.

The thing is, they sort of miss the point of a Kit-Kat, don't they? The four-wafer, doesn't take that much strength to "Break Into It," effete-construction worker point of a Kit-Kat?

It would be like trying to feminize a Slim Jim.

Moko said...

Um, yes, please send me one as proof. I don't believe you. I definitely don't believe you.

Your second point is a good one but you have forgotten the very important FRIDGE TEST. Just try to break in two a cold Kit Kat Chunky. Like diamonds, my friend, diamonds.