Thursday, August 24, 2006

Caught Red (cinnamon flavor)-Handed



The other morning, L. caught me red-handed. He came into the living room (where I’ve set up my computer) and saw the whites of my eyes hidden amidst a pile of shiny wrappers. I was reprimanded, as I always am, and I affected the lock of a lost puppy and said I would never do it again, which I always say.

Although L. may disagree, the problem wasn’t that I had been binging in the morning, but rather that I had been caught binging in the morning. And while that excuse may not have worked for Nixon and Enron, I’d like to remind you that I am responsible to no one…not even to my teeth, or to my stomach, which blows up to the size of a hot-air balloon when I hit my 100th stick of gum.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you learn nothing from that visit to the nutritionist? L. is going to have to post a guard....maybe one of the queen's men needs hardship duty.

Moko said...

for the record, the nutritionist said nothing about me giving up gum...she just said that if i continued to chew at the rate that i did i could possibly risk an ulcer.

but she did not say to give it up.