- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- The long walk home
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Many years ago when I was living in the pre-Alps with my Auntie J., the two of us decided to leave the comfort of the Gruyere Valley and head into uncharted linguistic territory. On our way to a very famous waterfall whose name I should probably remember but don’t, we stopped at a McDonalds to order some food.
When we reached the drive-through intercom, the first thing we spotted was a large photo of fries—fries whose length, strength, and virility recalled the force of an Ionic column. Next to these hearty samples, and in large letters was the following:
Auntie J. and I had a hard time controlling ourselves as we ordered the extra dick fries, but my aunt made an admirable go at it, using her high-level German skills (“I” + “too eat” + “extra dick”) to get us our food. The teenage boy serving us seemed to get what we were laughing about, as he was a bit red in the face by the time we reached the dirve-up window to pick up our dicks. They were yummy.
…Anyway, that was my first encounter with German dicks. The second was last week at trivia night, when energy editor to the stars, S.C., brought me back these fine mini dicks from Deutschland.
To be perfectly honest, I prefer McDonald’s dicks to these dicks, if only because stale chocolate and marshmallow, while certainly dick as promised, are not really so tasty. But still, I managed to eat the whole box as we sat at the pub, delighting in all of the dirty things I would be able to say in this blog post.
Categories: Germany, Switzerland, chocolate