- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- The long walk home
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Monday, August 07, 2006
Putting the World Right Again
I was all out of sorts yesterday because things just weren’t right in the universe of Moko. When I went to the gym I accidentally pushed the “stop” button at 30:28 minutes, after having burned approximately 359 calories. That was the first time I had ever ended on such a sour note. Normally I end all exercise on “good” numbers (=numbers ending in 0’s or 5’s) and I never ever stop a tic or two shy of a “major” number (e.g. 400 calories, 30 minutes, etc.)
Now, before you try to interrupt me to have a heart-to-heart about my obsessive compulsive tendencies, just close your mouth and follow me into the next paragraph. We’re not heading in a discussion of OCD, but, rather (and as always) candy.
Anyway, I was feeling very off-balance, and came home and spent the rest of the evening trying to right things. I called my mom, and then I called my dad. I walked up and down my stairs until I hit the number 100.
But nothing was really working.
So then I opened my freezer and took out my box of popsicles. I ate one and then another, simply because they tasted good.
By then I was feeling a bit stuffed, but I realized that there was one popsicle still remaining in the box. I threw the box away, thinking that that would make the popsicle look less lonely as it sat on the shelf of my fridge.
But it just sat there. And looked lonelier and lonelier by the second.
So then I had to eat it, because you can’t leave things by themselves. That’s as bad as ending a gym routine on a 1 or a 9 or a 3.
As I ate the popsicle I remembered that there was one Kin’po sitting on the shelf. It also had to be eaten.
And on and on it went until the wave of destruction ended in a pile of wrappers on the floor, with colored sugar juice running down my chin.
But at least I could finally go to sleep. Everything had been put right again, and the world was in balance.
Categories: popsicles, OCD, health