- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- The long walk home
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Sunday, September 10, 2006
TEN THINGS THE MOKO HATES
I was thinking this morning of the things I really dislike, and it struck me just how many of them involved sweets. So for your pleasure, I present:
TEN THINGS THE MOKO HATES (in no particular order)
1. Kinder Eggs – Like the blonde, big-boobed girl from your high school class, how long can Kinder Eggs ride on cute? One day people will realize your eggs are sagging and your chocolate is mediocre.
2. Going to the hairdresser – Aside from having to sit still for two hours, I also hate that wash basin thing that puts your neck out of whack for a week afterwards.
3. Sugarfree Mentos – These things are horrible. They taste like Mentos with a shot of Diet Coke--the worst drink on the planet.
4. Olives – Yeah, I know this one doesn’t make sense. I have no excuse.
5. Chocolate bars with nuts – Nothing should get in the way of chocolate. Ever.
6. Natto – I think disliking fermented soybeans is pretty self-explanatory.
7. Going to the bathroom – Sleep is not the greatest thief of one's life. It’s going to the bathroom. And unlike sleeping, you have to take off half of your clothes to do this. So annoying.
8. Weddings - Why don't the young lovebirds put as much thought into sweet nibbles and yummy cake as they do into seating arrangements? And jeez those ceremonies are long.
8. Standing up – There is nothing worse than having to stand for more than five minutes in the same place. That’s why I don’t go to rock shows, political rallies, or tai chi classes.
Categories: wedding-cake, kinder, coca-cola, evil