- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- The long walk home
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Saturday, September 16, 2006
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is what I received in my e-mail the other day. At first I was really excited. My age in chocolate? How old am I in chocolate? Will I get free chocolate from this? But play along and relive my disappointment with me:
1. Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 . If you haven't, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
So basically, this could’ve just read “Pick the number of times you wanted to eat your own feces”. It had nothing to do with chocolate. Nothing. I should’ve known this was going nowhere when they asked me to limit the number of times I wanted to eat chocolate to under 10.
Categories: chocolate, evil