Friday, October 20, 2006

Valentines in October



On the 12th day of Halloween…

I once again discovered how stupid England is in its promotion of unseasonal candy right before All Hallow’s Eve.

Take a look at these bits of bordeom: Love Hearts.

How many things are wrong with this picture? The answers are obvious, but for those of you who simply think this blog is (occasionally) a good laugh, and don’t actually live by candy as I do, I will spell it all out for you:

1. It is 12 days away from Halloween, not Valentine’s Day.
2. Halloween is about ghouls and goblins and ghouls and goblin-themed candy. It has nothing to do with love or hearts.
3. They taste like fizzy deodorant (if it existed).
4. These are not the famous and American Candy Hearts but rather a cheap-looking imitation.

Good lord England, what would Rudyard Kipling say if he could see you now?

I’ll tell you what he’d say:

Far-called, our navies melt away;
On dune and headland sinks the fire:
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
Lest we forget -- lest we forget!

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5 comments:

molina said...

give it to a ghost

Moko said...

hmm...i know i said they tasted like fizzy deodorant, but they do still have sugar in them, and you know my sugar standards are pretty low...in short, i've already eaten all of them.

Anonymous said...

again, do a little research. these have been around for years and they are always available 365 days of the year. they're not "valentines" candy. that would be sad, cheesy and lame.

Moko said...

nice try, but these debuted in my corner Tesco in October, and they're now gone again (admittedly this is likely because of their gross-ness and not any seasonal reason).

the bigger answer to your question is: if you are looking for research on this blog i think you're looking in the wrong place.

i eat. i feel. i bleed.

i don't do research.

Anonymous said...

or you only noticed them on october and then they sold out!.. small shops, news agents, garages you get them 365days a year. even if they do taste rubbish they've some how managed to stay in production since 1933.