Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween in England


Tonight was my first Halloween in England, and boy what a disappointment.

Yes, there were a handful of goblins on the street, as well as a bunch of girls in short skirts and fishnet stockings. (Real-live whores or just French maids? You make the call!)

But the Halloween spirit just wasn’t there. The shop windows are already decked out with tinsel and misletoe. No one has said “boo!” to me all day. The only sign of the true and generous Halloween spirit came in the form of a coworker who tried to offer me a full-size Mars bar. But we all know Halloween isn’t about full-size—it’s about the mini-packs of Skittles, Smarties, Haribo, Runts, etc. Tons and tons of mini packs.

Of all of the holidays to reject, why did Europe have to choose Halloween? How about Valentine’s Day (it only makes us feel inadequate) or Easter (who’d miss those icky marshamallow Peeps)?

But fear not. The Moko has the fire of a candy evangelical burning inside her, and she's working on a plan to change all of this. It will be called the Halloween Revival Plan. Or the Halloween Helpers Coalition. Or Halloween Not Hell! Or something like that.

The name is key. Once I have the name down all the rest is nothing but simple lobbying of appropriate government and cultural bodies. Prepare yourselves to sign my petition.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

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EHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHHEHHH
MUAHAHAHAHHAHHA!
OLIVIA IS THE HOTTEST PERSON ON THE FACE OF THIS EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTH!!!
IN UR FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
I HEART MOKO
LOVE IS UTOLGVJ
GLOVES WITH CHEESE, GLOVES WITH CHEESE
I'M SUCH A GLOVE MACHINE
BYE
BYE
HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEEN

Peter said...

Interesting. On 31 Oct '04(my birthday), I was in Greenwich & had a bag of American candy that I'd brought from the US the day before, which I handed out to the few trick or treaters I saw between Greenwich Station & Royal Hill. A few kids stuck their heads in the pub I met my friends at, but most expected money. A year later, I went to an excellent comedy night at Up The Creek, drank too much, & missed the stop on the DLR at Bank, and at 2359 I stepped off the train at Whitechapel. It's midnight, Halloween, & I'm in Jack's old killing grounds. Luckily I could catch a bus to my hotel in Queensway. This Halloween, I'll be taking a ghost walk in Victoria, BC, where they let off fireworks on Halloween. I'll have candy for the kiddies, but I'll be dressed up, and saying "You're MY wife now!". So if you were going to spend the world's best birthday in the UK, where would you be? In a few years, I'm coming back over, & I'm thinking St Austell, Bath, York, or Edinburgh. (And I'm already booked for that Bonfire Night down somewhere near Brighton). Cheers