Saturday, November 25, 2006

Spirulina: The Mean Green Machine

The latest “treats” to rear their ugly, spirulina-laced heads in the office mini-kitchen are called Bounce balls.

I don’t really get why they’re called “balls.” They aren’t round (but do ressemble horse poop); they don’t contain plastic (but they do contain “fruitrim”); and they don’t bounce (although they do stink). In other words, keep away.

Can you imagine if you were the marketing guy that was given this product to sell? What would you say? How about this:

“The amazing ingredients of Spirulina and Ginseng, combined with other natural products, are a great source to give you a natural energy hit, boost your immune system and leave you feeling completely satisfied.”

I guess the marketers did what they could. No mention of the stink or the green organisms whirling about in the center of the ball. Or the fact that eating this makes one feel like a chicken picking at the droppings left behind by the pig as he drags his fat, muddy self across the farm.

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