Sunday, November 26, 2006

Top Ten Things (updated!)

That spirulina Bounce Ball haunted my dreams last night. It bounced from one scene to the next, leaving a little trail of green goo between each sequence. The experience was so bad that I’ve decided to revise my top ten hate list to take my new hate into account.

TEN THINGS THE MOKO HATES (in no particular order)

1. Kinder Eggs – Like the blonde, big-boobed girl from your high school class, how long can Kinder Eggs ride on cute? One day people will realize your eggs are sagging and your chocolate is mediocre.
2. Going to the hairdresser – Aside from having to sit still for two hours, I also hate that wash basin thing that puts your neck out of whack for a week afterwards.
3. New! Spirulina BounceBall – o wicked spriulina fungus thing, what are you doing in my company’s mini-ktichen? You officially kick Sugarfree Mentos out of the number three slot.
4. New! Shoelaces. I hate you shoelaces! You make me bend down to tie you and then you come undone again. You kick olives off this list!
5. Chocolate bars with nuts – Nothing should get in the way of chocolate. Ever.
6. Natto – I think disliking fermented soybeans is pretty self-explanatory.
7. Going to the bathroom – Sleep is not the greatest thief of one's life. It’s going to the bathroom. And unlike sleeping, you have to take off half of your clothes to do this. So annoying.
8. Weddings - Why don't the young lovebirds put as much thought into sweet nibbles and yummy cake as they do into seating arrangements? And jeez those ceremonies are long.
8. Standing up – There is nothing worse than having to stand for more than five minutes in the same place. That’s why I don’t go to rock shows, political rallies, or tai chi classes.

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You sound like such an oldster!

Moko said...

because I don't like shoelaces? : )

they are soooo annoying. how can you not agree? as if the whole action of standing up weren't bad enough, shoelaces make the whole experience ever more strenuous by requiring you to bend down to tie and untie them.

and if you live in london, where the sun never shines in the sky or in the people's hearts, you would know that each time your shoelaces come untied they get all mucky from the mud and rain and london dirt.

Anonymous said...

Life is rife with trials! Shoelaces might just be the least of them...guess you'd better go directly to velcro! Then you can call the style police.

Moko said...

didn't velco come back in again? or is it out again?

my grandfather beats everyone at the style game: he just masking tapes whatever items--shoes, t-shirts, pants--that fall apart. the real advantage is that when you want to take your clothes or shoes off, all you need to do is rip! no need to deal with pesky zippers.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. That grandfather of yours is such a stylish devil.