- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- The long walk home
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Oh Necco Candy Hearts, we had such a good time together last week! It was like old times again.
But then you had to go and ruin things like you always do. It seems that Feb. 14th always has to end on a sour note. You accuse me of of abandoning you for 364 days of the year; you think I prefer the curve of Cadbury creme eggs to your petite frame; you claim that I've never once thanked you when you tell me "I Love You," "you're cute," or say I'm "hot stuff."
You try to put it all on me but I think this is just as much about you. Have you stopped to take a look at yourself lately? You're a bit long in the tooth and your packaging's not looking so fresh these days, if you know what I mean. And I'm not saying you're fat but, maybe it'd be better to not include so many white hearts in each pack--the dark colors are far more slimming.
But those things can all be fixed with a bit of time and hard work on your part. Why don't we take some time off, and try this again sometime around early February of next year?