Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Perestroika Bar

Here my lovelies, have a taste of democracy. You don't need any more communism. Communism is stale. Communism is waiting 20 days for your chocolate bar. Here I give you democracy chocolate bar. Sure, it is packaged with memories of cultural relics and shiny paper and it calls to mind old Russia but I assure you it is 60% cacao and 100% modern times. Open it and eat new Russia!

...Oh you are disappointed? You thought shiny paper meant it was full chocolate chocolate bar? I never promised you that. I promised you you get it whenever you want, without line. I didn't promise you that only the outside would be chocolate and the inside would be like crap English Aero bar. Why do you complain? The English like the Aero bar--all of sudden English democracy is not good enough for you?

Are you never happy? I take you back to communist chocolate bar. I take you back now. There it is. Over there. Go to it. Right next to Kremlin and man in funny hat. Eat your Stalin bar. Go with Lenin. You will choke on it as you enjoy its full chocolate specialty.

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