L. and I had to sneak back into our old apartment two weeks ago to claim a few items we had left behind and that we were sure The Thugs who run the place would take if we let the objects linger too long in our old abode.
Sure enough, we quickly discovered that some of the things had already gone missing. But The Thugs only stole what they thought was valuable—appliances, cables, and prescription drugs. (I hope they swallow my birth control pills and grow breasts.) Luckily, though, they were too stupid to realize that the real treasure—a bar of spicy ginger chocolate—was theirs for the taking had they just opened the envelope in which it had been sitting.