I have rules about wedding cake. They are very simple rules:
1. Rich people should spend all of their money on really expensive cakes fit to be served in The Ritz.
2. Everyone else should drive down to their local Safeway, Tesco, Ralphs, etc. and pick up a handful of those cheap, white birthday cakes they make for kids—the ones with the really sugary icing. They are the best in terms of total sugar impact, and they don’t waste their time with multiple layers of lackluster chocolate cream. Instead, you get an inch of thick icing, and some fun decorations—clowns, football fields, basketballs, Barbies, and so forth—to distinguish your cakes from the typical ho-hum, figurine affair one normally sees at weddings.
Make note of this, please.