Friday, July 13, 2007

Cadbury Fascists Attack Moko in her Inbox

Enough already! Hordes of Mokoites have spoken and I couldn’t be more disappointed in all of you.

Do you know how many of you have sent me this article from the NYT?!?

You are pointing to “The World’s Best Candy Bars? English, of Course” as validation of your long-held belief that Cadbury is superior to Hershey and that I’m as wrong as wrong can be. But let me tell you why you really prefer Cadbury to Hershey: it’s because you are over-educated urbanite Americans who prefer Grey Poupon to French's mustard; who just love that little Italian bistro around the corner where they do the biscotti; and who envy Canadians who can sew their flag patches on to their backpacks and not be hated when they travel abroad. I know your type.

The difference is this: if you love sugar, then Hershey’s is the way to go. If you like fat and cream and everything that makes cows cry, then Cadbury’s your premium crap chocolate maker. It’s all a matter of how much you love sugar and are committed to promoting its reign over this planet.


It’s that simple.

Sweetly,

Your Moko

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heinz mustard? Who are you? Somehow, your harangue of the American Eurosnob rings hollow, because the classic, all-American yellow mustard is French's. http://www.frenchsmustard.com/recipe/frenchs/product_m_cy.jsp?fc=1

Doesn't sound right, but it is.

Just so it's clear:

Ketchup: Heinz 57
Mustard: French's
Pickles: Vlasic
Steak Sauce: A1
BBQ Sauce: KC Masterpiece
Mayonnaise: Hellman's:
Peanut Butter: Skippy
Hot Sauch: Tabasco
Soy Sauce: Kikkoman
Salad Dressing: Hidden Valley
Whipped Topping: Miracle Whip
Jams: Smucker's

Never forget.

Moko said...

As a REAL American, I don't acknowledge anything French.

Little Noble Chico said...

Dear Moko,

I won't take position in your fight with bobo compatriots because i'm french, but it gives me the privilege to tell you that you are completely wrong.

Nothing made by Hershey will beat Crunch or Twirl. The problem is that Hershey uses only Sugar to hide their disgusting Fake Chocolate whereas Cadbury knows how to use it.

Comparing Hershey with Cadbury is like comparing Shinkansen with TGV. Shinkansen & Hershey will *ALWAYS* arrive behind...

But after all I don't really understand that Hershey
/ Cadbury battle, my favourite are Mars Inc and Haribo (which is the real world master of sugar)

Moko said...

"Comparing Hershey with Cadbury is like comparing Shinkansen with TGV. Shinkansen & Hershey will *ALWAYS* arrive behind..."

hehe, does Hershey go on strike every year like clockwork? don't think so monsieur.

Little Noble Chico said...

"every year like clockwork": Regularity is part of excellence, and each strike is unique.

But we're out of subject

There's one thing I agree with you: Biscottis are boring...

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