Monday, September 24, 2007

Swedes eat Salty Liquorice, Kill Themselves

The Swedes are masochists and I have proof: Salta katten

The Moko would like to leave the statement at just that, but she understands that some of you might think that that’s a rather outrageous claim to make without proof. So here you go. Let’s see if high school geometry can take us all the way to the equality property.

  1. Salty liquorice is disgusting. Everyone knows that.
  2. According to a recent study, salt consumption is highest from November to February.
  3. November to February is the period during which Sweden is thrown into total darkness, with no light provided but by the glimmer of the synthetic halo of the country’s ubiquitous tanning beds. This is when Swedes have the highest rate of suicide.

So basically, during the worst months invented by whom/whatever invented things, the Swedes try to make themselves even more miserable by eating salty liquorice, and then finally end up killing themselves. I suppose that’s one way to deal with depression, and certainly one I may consider this winter if I’m still stuck living in gray England.

9 comments:

pink&cake said...

Oh. My. Gosh. This post made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. Yeah, this is a product I pretty much don't need to try. Thanks for the fun. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the salty liquorice... I no longer buy Liquorice AllSorts, which used to be completely wonderful but in the last few years (maybe 10? 20?--I'm old), a little blue guy(or blob) has been included--sometimes more than one!--ruining the experience for me, maybe everyone but the Nordic-persuaded...I think he's of the salty liquorice genus and he should be voted off the island and into only the Land of the Midnight Sun.

red bean said...

Is there a chance that you might NOT be in gray England this winter??

Anonymous said...

What we have here is a false syllogism. The problem being that correlation between liquorice intake and suicide does not imply causation.

To make a counter example, ninjas started disappearing during the latter half of the 19th century; this was also when salt water taffy was created.

Moko said...

Really, ninjas disappeared when salt water taffy was introduced? Have you looked into this more? There might be something here...

Anonymous said...

Hi, salta katten isnt that bad, its no too salty (not like some of the other ones eewww).
Im in sweden right now, aparently they kill themselves more in the north because there are less girls up there for the men and so they turn into alcaholics and commit suicide.
It gets dark around 4pm at the moment and earlier if its cloudy but im living in the middle at the moment and the further north you go the darker it gets...

Sooo yeah. Nice blog :D

http://tonic.exchanging-oxygen.net/

Anonymous said...

Allso worth mentioning is that eventho Salty liquirice does indeed taste salty it contains ammonium chloride instead of sodium chloride (table salt). So the use of salt in general has nothing to do with salty liquirice. Just had to mention that ;)

Wolven said...

Actually, the consumption of delicious salty licorice or ammonium chloride-flavoured candy is just as common in Finland and other Nordic countries besides Sweden.

To add, 'Salta Katten'(=salty cat) is an import, the swedish version of a finnish original, and highly successful, 'Pantteri' (=panther) candy.

Also, everyone knows Finland is the true 'Land of the Midnight Sun', not Sweden. Swedes are happy and go-lucky fold compared to us finns! :D

Magdaleena said...

Fazer is indeed Finnish and salty liquorice was invented in Finland. And we're fucking proud of it.