Friday, December 07, 2007

The Moko Comes Clean

Perhaps you were wondering why the Moko had gone silent.

Well, after a long and painful two weeks of hiding in dark corners and scratching from within locked, closet doors, I’ve emerged to take part in the next step of my healing: publicly admitting my problem.

So here comes the confession: I have spent the past two weeks in detox, completely separated from the sweet, illicit fruit of Achras zapota (a.k.a. chewing gum).

While I’ve been aware of the problem for awhile—it interfered with my great American novel; it frequently made my stomach fill with air to 3x its size; and it was a rather nasty-looking habit—it wasn’t until two weeks ago that I was motivated to quit.

What got me there? Well, it’s kinda embarrassing to admit, but the truth is that I discovered that ‘sugarless gum’ doesn’t mean ‘calorie-less gum.’ I realized that with my 6-10 pack/day consumption habit (at 10-20 sticks/pack) I was consuming about 600 – 1000 calories a day just in gum. And you know that if you’re old enough to read this blog your metabolism, like mine, is only getting slower.

The result is that I went cold turkey and haven’t had the desire to touch any gum since.

It’s amazing what my own vanity managed to do, where family interventions, jaw problems, and stomach ailments failed. I am now clean.

My name is Moko, and I’m a gumaholic.

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