Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mars Candy Kills

I'm probably the last person in the world to have seen this but according to this website, Mars does all kinds of nasty things to the fuzzy, furry things that we love---like rats:

Mars recently funded a deadly experiment on rats to determine the effects of chocolate ingredients on their blood vessels. Experimenters force-fed the rats by shoving plastic tubes down their throats and then cut open the rats' legs to expose an artery, which was clamped shut to block blood flow. After the experiment, the animals were killed. Mars has also funded cruel experiments in which mice were fed a candy ingredient and forced to swim in a pool of a water mixed with white paint. The mice had to find a hidden platform to avoid drowning, only to be killed and dissected later on. In yet another experiment supported by Mars, rats were fed cocoa and anesthetized with carbon dioxide so that their blood could be collected by injecting a needle directly into their hearts, which can lead to internal bleeding and other deadly complications.

I know I should be upset and shocked about this, and yeah yeah I am, but I'd be lying if I also didn't think that if I had to be killed I'd appreciate that whatever pain I felt while drowning was offset by the chocolate they gave me ahead of time.

But it would have to be better chocolate than Mars. Definitely.

(P.S. Thanks to AB for the heads up!)


Purple Turtle Eater said...

That is absolutely terrible. I can't believe you could find it appropriate to joke about the things that are evidenced in those videos.

Moko said...

Let's not take ourselves too seriously, shall we? Of course it's horrible.

- Moko (the vegetarian)

Rat King said...

Excuse me purple turtle eater, if that is your real name, but I believe you are sorely mistaken.

You see, I am a rat king forged from the tails,limbs, and trunks of nigh on a thousand rats, and bound together by excrement, a three inch length of twine, the lint from a parson's pocket, and polydextrose.

Polydextrose, incidentally, isone of the ingredients for a milky way bar. Thus, while it saddens me to hear of the suffering of my brethren, I can't help but remark that you need to break a few eggs in order to make an omelet.

If it isn't clear, the omelet would be me and the eggs would be the rats... Also, Mars would be the chives... Mmmm... chives.