- The freaky chocolate children of Moscow
- Cadbury Offers to Pay £1 of Your Hospital Bill
- Poor Ireland gets stuck with Time Out
- Halloween in England
- UPDATE: My One-Month Plan to Seduce the Chocolate Man
- Cocaine is not Candy, Boys and Girls
- The long walk home
- Turndown Service
- A Daily, 5-Second Vacation for The Chosen
Monday, March 02, 2009
Maybe no one's had the bandwidth to tell you this but you are lamer than HTML tables. Just what do you think you're doing calling your chocolate "beta"? Is this free software? No. Am I paying for it? Yes. Then dammit I want chocolate that you think is perfected and complete!
Just what exactly do you mean by "beta" anyway? That you will iterate future chocolate products based on user feedback? (Isn't that just old-fashioned, offline marketing?) Will you be running chocolate webinars? Can I update my Twitter account by biting into your squares? Will you tell Facebook what kind of chocolate I like and what I was saying while I was eating you? Will you run relevant ads across the top of your cacaolicious surface so that I will have even more opportunities to buy you?
Oh...and is there an API?
Listen Tcho, you're lucky that I've been really busy with work and don't have any cycles free to devote more space to your dumb gimmick. You just let me know when you're ready for public launch and then maybe I'll give you another try.