And here's how I did it.
This past Saturday my friend Yuki dragged me along to be her "wing woman" at a Valentine's singles party here in Tokyo. I kept my ring on my finger out of allegiance to my beloved L. but I did throw on a few extra rings for good measure as I didn't want to pay the extra entrance fee for being married. (L.--if you're reading this, no that does not mean that I value our marriage less than 1000 yen....it just means I wanted to save money for the large house and twenty children we will one day have.)
Anyway, the party organizers had the creative idea of encouraging mixing by putting different kinds of free food and drink where people were sitting. So some tables had pizzas; others had shots; and mine--and only mine--had a big big box of Krispy Kremes.
The organizers had intended this to act as a natural conversation starter, and I'm sure everything would have gone fine had the Moko not been around. But the moment the Krispy Kremes hit our table I was all over them, and when the first set of guys came over to talk to us, I glared at one of them as he tried to take a donut. The moment they left (boys will do that if you don't talk to them) I lay both arms parallel to the sides of the box, and made it clear no one was to come near them.
While I don't think my single friends appreciated this, I thought it taught them an important lesson: if they really want to snag a man, they shouldn't count on a married woman's donuts to do so. (I don't entirely know what I mean by that, but it's 1am and after a lot of donuts and alcohol it sounds like a very true statement.)